Love: Fascination and Biology Essay

recognize. People make believe been intrigue by it for centuries, and never more so than in the past hundred years or so, when commonwealth began to embark into relationships and marry for pick give away, rather than political or social reasons. We have to a fault begun to research mania further, and have come up with many another(prenominal) unalike types and definitions for venerate, amorous love being only cardinal type. The psychology of love is a new ara that looks at all these different definitions of love and what they mean to lot at once.When many people think about love, they are still mystified. It seems difficult, if non impossible, to describe love. It is a deep, true emotion that has attract people for centuries. Today, we write movies and books about it, feature it in our tabloids, and center our whole lives around it. Yet, because it is such a large part of our lives, thither moldiness be whatever way to actually define it and understand it. Psy chologists have taken up the study of love for exactly this reason.An member in Psychology Today talks about love in todays society what it means, where our modern definitions came from, and how to achieve it. First of all, love comes from bonding, no matter what people are problematic in the situation rise ups and children, husbands and wives, or friends. Bonding leads to attachment, which is a form of love. In this way, love becomes not a mysterious, early(a) worldly, unexplainable phenomenon. It becomes an easily understandable part of human life, and a necessary wizard and only(a) at that (Johnson and Marano).Read morePersuasive rise About LoveAttachment is a part of survival. If young children do not attach to an older interestgiver ( unremarkably their mother), they volition die. They need the for certainty that an older individual willing feed them, soothe them, and keep them warm. compensate once a child outgrows the need for another(prenominal) soul to cons ider all of his or her needs, he still needs a person to help him cooperate his own needs.That is, to help him find food, make sure that he has clothes to put on himself, and to continue to soothe him. sluice adults need this kind of security, because most people do take tuition of themselves alone they rely on others at least for comfort and mad security, notwithstanding if they feces provide for their own physical needs. However, families make it because some successions providing even for physical needs can be such a daunting task that it is shared. Thats why in a tralatitious society, one person works, and one person cares for the home (Johnson and Marano).This idea has been well studied. Babies learn to attach to their parents when they are young, although depending on the parents style, some do not attach. Babies whose parents respond to them in a consistent and pleasant manner tend to attach securely when their parents leave, they cry and seek them when their paren ts return, upon make sure the parent is on that point, they go to explore their world, confident in their parents love and availability. Other babies are insecurely attached.That is, they are in truth fearful when their parents are gone, and tend to reject them or cling to them (or fluctuate between extremes) when their parents return, usually because parents respond inconsistently to them sometimes they are loving, and other times they are distracted and off-putting. A third style is when babies are not attached. They simply ignore their parents, whether they are present or not, and this is usually because the parents resist attempts at physical bonding (Johnson and Marano).If all of this is true even in small children, imagine the ramifications it can have throughout life. some other psychologist has studied this in her book, The Psychology of Love. Again, biologic reasons are forefront people need attachment and security to survive, at all ages. merely beyond simple attachm ent and mutual bonding, there are forms of love in which one person provides more than another does.The author presents situations in which one person retrieves and expresses love often more strongly than another. For example, a muliebrity who is depressed may rely much more firmly on her friends than they can rely on her. A child certainly relies on its mother more than she relies on it. And in some interesting cases, there is unrequited love, where a person may feel romantic love for another that isnt reciprocated. Love, as the author points out, isnt incessantly cost (Weis).Altruism is an interesting part of love. A person who loves someone, especially a family share, is likely to behave altruistically towards that person, should a situation arise. For example, if a family member were sick and unable to take care of himself or anything else, a person may take off work, care for the sick person, and pick up any of that persons responsibilities as a matter of course. This is not seen in relationships where there is not love, either because the people are strangers, or because they dont like each other (Weis).This likely occurs because self-sacrifice is not truly action solely for anothers gain. In fact, by caring for a family member, one is ensuring that the person will survive, and withal ensuring that someday, that person will be able to, and more importantly, necessitate to care for them in return. This behavior protects the connection and attachment that is between dickens people. This is why it is not seen in people who have no relationship there is no need to ensure a strangers survival, because they will likely never be able to return the favor (Weis).Love is primarily studied in terms of this bonding and attachment now, because previously, psychologists considered it too lofty a subject. But, with the real biological and mental butt, love is a phenomenon that is not only well-studied, but a subject that is involved in nearly every part of humankind.Romantic love has a biological basis, too. Romantic love is the type that is most frequently thought of when a person says love. First of all, loving someone implies fidelity that the people involved will be faithful to one another. It allows constant sexual access, and consequently the possibility for procreation. It allows a joint effort to survive, some(prenominal) as cardinal individuals and as a family, once children enter the picture (Weis).Romantic love, match to Weis, is comprised of three areas attachment, attraction, and sex drive. All of these are biologically based, but there is as well as more to it than that. Hormones help a person to feel attracted towards another, and they overly signal the sex drive and sexual response cycle. But if this biological science were all there was to it, then our society would be a much simpler place.However, we are obsessed with romantic love. In todays world, people are endlessly reading magazines and books to learn mo re about romantic love. Why does he never talk to me? Why does she talk constantly? Why is he such a commitment-phobe? Why is she planning the wedding after the first date? There are literally haemorrhoid of books and magazines on the subject, with more coming out all the time. Men want to understand women (although they claim they never will) and women want to understand men (although theyre pretty sure they already do, at least most of the time).These books and magazines exist because the world is far more complex today. We have a countless of reasons for choosing and staying with our partners. Temptations and jealousies are everywhere. We have social rules for behavior that say that it isnt always possible to come out with your feelings as soon as youre sure of them. While the underlying principles are still the same hormones dictate whether or not youre attracted to a person, and play a meaningful role in helping to bond two people together and keep them together the soc ial rules of communication in love are also highly studied.In Maranos article, blood Rules, this idea is studied. This article is only one example out of many on this wide studied subject. Her suggestions Choose carefully, know your partners beliefs, dont confuse sex and love, know your needs and speak up, view yourselves as a team, know and respect differences, solve problems immediately, learn to negotiate, listen, work austere at closeness, and more. All in all, there are 25 Relationship Rules in this article (Marano).It has been widely studied that people who do not understand or speak up for their own needs in relationships are often unhappy. Counselors and psychologists encourage people to always be unbidden to share their needs. However, they also encourage recognizing that the other person had needs too, and that dialogue is good thing being able to respect and work with both peoples needs (Marano).As Marano warns, though, too much dependency is not a good thing. While i t is true on many levels, from social to biological, that two people need each other to survive emotionally and physically, it is also possible to have too much of a good thing. twain people must learn to meet their own needs sometimes, or to seek out another person or source to meet their needs. Too much dependency causes a lack of focus on the relationship, and a loss of individual identity.For a final warning, Marano states that love is not an absolute, not a limited commodity that in of or out of. Its a feeling that ebbs and flows. Because hormones and many other life situations yarn-dye perception of love, two people may not always feel love towards one another. However, if they accept that this is part of the natural way of things, they can still behave in a loving manner towards one another. Love is about much more than just feeling awing about another person all the time. It is about caring for another person, putting him first, and accepting that he is not perfect.There are many ideas and perceptions about love in todays society. The original basis for love was biological, and to this day biota continues to be an important part of the movement and feelings of love. It keeps people together by producing incredibly powerful feelings of attachment and security. But love is also about the tricky ins and outs of relationships. Both of these areas have been heavily studied by psychologists, and continue to be studied today.As time goes on, we will learn even more about the psychology and biology of love. We will learn more about how people attach to one another and why they do it. But even if we never knowledgeable another thing about love, the entire world would remain fascinated by it, always falling in and out, and forming attachments to more new people. Movies will be made, books will be written, and people will watch, read, and listen. Love is everything.BibliographyJohnson, Susan, and Marano, Hara Estroff. In the Name of Love. Psychology Today, N ovember 17, 2006.Marano, Hara Estroff. Relationship Rules. Psychology Today, February 10, 2006.Weis, Karin. The parvenu Psychology of Love. Yale University Press, New Haven, CT 2006.